Thursday, January 25, 2007

The (F)art of Fine Dining.

it was a day to celebrate. so i asked around and zeroed in on a fine place to dine.
beautiful ambience - check
soothing music - check
well mannered staff - check

a dream, it was... before it all came undone.

the first indication of disastor was the audible gulp that came from the husband. the table, neatly tucked away in a corner (thank god for that, thank god for that...) looked deceptively tame.
in its fold it held an assortment of cutlery that i failed to recognise. i almost turned to ask the waiter if we were expecting company.

so, the guy-who-takes-the-order came over. he put a card that listed all the wines they serve. i for one know of only port wine and white wine. the husband is well... er, lets just say he is a beer guy. after much deliberation, we asked the person responsible for putting us in the situation for suggestions. that done, we turned our attention to the food list aka menu card.

i am starving said the husband
so am i, said i.

we ordered for a platter of blah blah something for starters.
i think they take you literally in that particular restaurant. they did get us a platter. a really huge one. nice and white and ceramicy. only, there was barely anything IN it. a tiny piece of cheese here and a sauteed capsicum there... oh and, plenty of crunchy lettuce.

moooo to you too.

the order guy looked definitely disapproving when we used the wrong fork. until that minute, i didnt know there could be any such thing.

its my birthday and i don't think i wanna eat here says husband
situation = bad.

our main course arrived.
my 2 year old nephew gets larger helpings.

we ate in silence.
paid the bill.
headed out to the nearest mcD/ barista/ cafe coffee day.
fine dining is not for us.

ps: Jai Hind. Go India!


jedi said...

rule 1. u only fine dine at other peopless' expense!
rule 2. eat and go, just in case
rule 3.never treat at X, unless been to X

rule 0. always use fingers

happy belated bartday to uma ungle.

maddie said...

Ye speaks the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I've been there, done that, done it again differently sans the fork much to everyone else's chagrin and grinned.

And promptly headed to nearby dosa camp after.

Munch, munch. Yuss.

Haffy burdayyyyy to Baba!

Raj said...

There are two Indias (as Big B tells us) out there... we straddle both, don't we?

turtle said...

hmmm... you can write.. happy rambling :D
and about 'FINE' dining, always do it the indian way.. down with the worlds ways :D..
we indians are like this only

Shivdas Nair said...

hahaha..I also learnt something about fine dining this new year's eve....My wife insisted on eating Thai !!So , we went to Bamboo shoots in Sec 18 , Noida .Since we had been earlier also, we knew that it was going to be expensive .Usually about 700 for a two person meal..Hungry me placed the orders without even looking at the prices...After the order was taken, my wise wife looked at the Menu and saw the prices !! They were 50% more than the regular rates !! @%#@!#!#@@!# !!Shameless Mallu brat that I am , I called for the manager and argued with him till he pleaded and admitted in front of others nearby that new years eve was a special opportunity for them to maraud customers...But anycase, I could not have denied my otherwise undemanding wife's wish to have Thai food..
Another place to avoid like plague is Super stars (Horrible portions , bland food and exorbitant prices), Moti Mahal and Karims ( most disgusting , oily , watery food at their most expensive)in Noida !!