My head needs to go for a walk

I know I ought to share, but it kills me to let anyone else bask in her smile.
But I know I am being bad, so I force myself to leave her with them.
And then hang around just beyond the door, watching, hoping... she'd miss me.

I know I ought to move on, but it hurts to know that my reputation is dog shit.
But I know I have a point to prove, and hang in there.
And pray everyday that they would give me a reason to say good-bye.

I know I need to confront her, but it scares me to think of not having her around anymore.
But I know I am being a coward, and I pick the phone up to call her.
And tell her about how it rained heavily today.

Mugs used to say that I carry a lot of baggage.
She must have been speaking the truth.
Suddenly the weight is overwhelming.
And I am not even talking about it in Kgs.

Let it up,
Let it go,
Heavy heart
Feather light.